Friday, June 7, 2013

Our Baby Boy

Dear John,

We should be meeting you today, but instead you are safe in heaven with Jesus.  Daddy and I are so happy that He is watching over you, but our arms ache to hold you.  I loved knowing that your due date was June 7th since that was my Grandma Swanson's birthday.  Even though I know you probably wouldn't have been born on this day, it's been special for me to think of the two of you sharing it together.  Since I was born on my Grandpa Swanson's birthday, I think that sort of thing has always meant something to me.

Heaven has seemed so much closer since I often think of you and your big sister, Hannah, there.  I am sure she's helping watch over you and I picture the two of you playing at Jesus' feet.  I wish you were playing at my feet instead, and no matter how much I know that you've been given an amazing gift of going straight to heaven and avoiding all the heartaches this earth brings, I still wish you were here.  I daily fight that struggle.

Maybe you could do your Mommy and Daddy a favor?  Could you talk to Jesus and ask Him to watch over us?  Sometimes we've had a hard time knowing what words to use when we talk to Him, and since you're right there, maybe you could ask Him to help us in our grief.  We hope that you get to have a brother or sister, one that gets to be here with us first, but we are trusting that His will is best in all circumstances.

We miss you every day, even though we haven't seen your face, and we love you so very, very, very much.

With love,
Mommy and Daddy